You're so nebulous sometimes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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