Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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