Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
