Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
