i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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