you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....