Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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  (918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5
  Replies (88) Good night (10249) Bad night (1544)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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  (513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is" http://tfl.nu/c0jq
  Replies (36) Good night (1367) Bad night (4298)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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  (775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat
  Replies (26) Good night (3701) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw his package. It spoke to me.

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  (732): I saw his package. It spoke to me. http://tfl.nu/ses1
  Replies (11) Good night (3429) Bad night (598)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..

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  (610): question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused.. http://tfl.nu/1zv2
  Replies (42) Good night (789) Bad night (4512)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (776) Bad night (4386)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago

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  (402): I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago http://tfl.nu/aauf
  Replies (16) Good night (3649) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2393) Bad night (6406)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

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  (205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom
  Replies (26) Good night (7719) Bad night (1561)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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  (989): It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened. http://tfl.nu/z3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (3107) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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  (425): Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years. http://tfl.nu/f3i9
  Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (3593)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"

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  (718): Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards" http://tfl.nu/67i1
  Replies (5) Good night (1385) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.

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  (847): Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party. http://tfl.nu/n2f5
  Replies (6) Good night (484) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know that feel bro

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  (918): I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom (405): I know that feel bro http://tfl.nu/xhva
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?

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  (406): If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins? http://tfl.nu/nbuw
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (391)

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