Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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  (941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to http://tfl.nu/6uk1
  Replies (36) Good night (6517) Bad night (2316)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.

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  (757): adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded. http://tfl.nu/ax04
  Replies (32) Good night (5795) Bad night (1296)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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  (207): He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice. http://tfl.nu/mmqq
  Replies (12) Good night (4892) Bad night (1809)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

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  (503): Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement. http://tfl.nu/wyat
  Replies (11) Good night (4405) Bad night (1443)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am

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  (586): The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am http://tfl.nu/ycag
  Replies (13) Good night (2254) Bad night (1061)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.

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  (610): Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory. http://tfl.nu/8tn6
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (1917)
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  (957): View more from

  I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.

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  (957): I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day. http://tfl.nu/42ia
  Replies (9) Good night (5968) Bad night (1188)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.

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  (414): I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions. http://tfl.nu/so75
  Replies (3) Good night (1926) Bad night (809)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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  (651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5
  Replies (13) Good night (1616) Bad night (724)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1992) Bad night (664)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.

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  (817): I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be. http://tfl.nu/oevd
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (1004)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.

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  (706): I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart. http://tfl.nu/7g13
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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  (215): who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game? http://tfl.nu/6oz2
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans

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  (206): I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans http://tfl.nu/fx44
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  How are you feeling?

  (435): View more from Utah

  I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.

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  (774): How are you feeling? (435): I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad. http://tfl.nu/eomx
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (144)

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