Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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(912): View more from Georgia

your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"

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(480): View more from Arizona

Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(763): View more from Minnesota

Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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(817): View more from Texas

And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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(216): View more from Ohio

i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.

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