that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She needs sedatives and a leash
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
