How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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