did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
