I need help removing her.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
