I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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