it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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