i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Jerry, you need to find god
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize