The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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