i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
