Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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