Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
