My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
