At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
