HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
