idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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