maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Buhtt sex?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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