I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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