Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
