yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
