I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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