No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
