i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
