White coat. Heels.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
