I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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