im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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