I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
