he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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