shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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