Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
me + whiskey = a bad person
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
