Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
