I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
