I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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