I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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