Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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