Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also, beer. Big fan.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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