no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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