I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
