i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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