I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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