judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
