Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
