Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
