so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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