So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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