Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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