i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Bring me that man meat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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