Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
