How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
