when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize