I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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