i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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