I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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