My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
