when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
