I wish I only lived at night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
